House of Scorpio > Code of Conduct

Both our PAL system and the Code of Conduct have been adapted with permission from the San Francisco institution, Kinky Salon (though a bit altered over the years to fit HoS). We believe this set of rules to be the gold standard for playing well with others -- read it often, and abide it always.

The Code of Conduct below states our intention and our standards. It should make it super-easy for newbies to understand how to behave at these events. Follow these simple do's and don'ts, and you'll fit right in:

  • Be creative about how you dress
  • Contribute when and where you can
  • Get explicit consent
  • State your boundaries
  • Have sensible safe sex practices
  • Respect our space and each other
  • Clean up after yourself
  • Linger unaccompanied in play spaces
  • Cruise aggressively (even if they are really cute)
  • Get too intoxicated
  • Take photographs
  • Gossip about what goes on here

The Long Version: Do!

Be creative about how you dress. It's not about having the most expensive, fabulous, over-the-top costume -- more about looking like you meant to attend our party when you left the house (not work, gym, etc) and contributing to the overall sexy vibe. Express yourself in whatever form is right for you, but NEVER wear jeans, khaki, t-shirts or sportswear.

Dress to be kissed: flirty, sexy and fun.

TimeOut said it best: "convention-busting clothing with a sexy, creative flair" -- the point being that you're the kind of person who already dresses this way, not someone trying to force themselves into a costume just to get in. Fetish attire, formalwear, lingerie, corsets, tutus and costumes always welcome...and we consider those unisex options (the more colorful and outrageous, the better). We also have a helpful menswear thread on our FB group (feel free to add recommendations). No casual or business attire; door man WILL turn you away.

Please don't email us asking what to wear: getting past this challenge is part of the process, and draws a community of like-minded arty freaks togther.

Contribute when and where you can. Our community is created through the efforts of everyone involved. At an event, look out for your fellow party goers, throw away your own trash (and maybe someone else's), let staff know if there are any issues. Volunteering is not a way around the PAL requirement, but if you're an approved regular in good standing who temporarily lacks a PAL, you can volunteer for setup or breakdown and have us vet you for the event. Volunteering is for two hours of setup before or one hour of breakdown after the event. If you want to volunteer at an event, perform or have another creative offering, just email and let us know.

Get explicit consent. ALWAYS ask before touching someone for the first time, and don't assume consent for one activity automatically means consent for all others. If you need a refresher on consent, look here or here. If you're unsure whether your advances will be met with anything but gleeful enthusiasm...DON'T.

State your boundaries. If someone makes you uncomfortable, for ANY reason, you should let them know. That includes touching without asking, saying something that offends you, or even just looking at you in a way you don't like. Be nice, be graceful, but be firm. If you have to speak to someone more than once, or you think they are a potential threat to others at the event, please point them out to staff after speaking up.

Have sensible safe sex practices. Agreement first, action second. BYO preferred safety methods, though we will always supply the basics.

Respect our space and each other. Being respectful towards each other and our environment means that we can build an atmosphere of trust. This includes a total acceptance of other guests' gender presentation and expressions of sexuality. HoS is specifically pan-sexual and prioritizes alternative modes of sexual expression. Many guests choose our events to experiment with their personal gender or sexuality boundaries, and we want to make sure everyone present is fully supported, whether it's in coversation, party games or playtime. This is the magic that makes our parties so special: if you're used to being the dominant standard of looks or behavior, be aware that here the the fringe is the norm, and YOU should expect to adapt to your surroundings. Makes sense, yeah? It usually works out pretty automatically, but it's worth putting into words every once in a while... (And we're trying to avoid the buzzwords of "privilege check" and "safe space," but you know, that thing.)

Clean up after yourself. Like, really people. That includes gum: please keep it off our floors and furniture.

The Long Version: Don't!

Linger unaccompanied in play spaces. Please, please, please, don't hang out on your own watching people! It makes them feel uncomfortable, and it makes you look like a Wanky McJerkoff! It's also a giant red flag for us to remove you from the premises.

Cruise aggressively (even if they are really cute). Learn to know the difference between 'being coy' and 'get the fuck outta my face'. If you are given a hint, take it. There is nothing more unattractive than desperation.

Get too intoxicated. Having a couple of drinks is fine; we are all grown-ups here. But if you get shit-faced, we will notice, and we will kick you out.

Take photographs. Keep your cameras and cellphones stashed for the duration. If you're trying to capture a particularly fabulous outfit, talk to the doorman about whether and where the photo would be appropriate.

Gossip about what goes on here. NEVER mention names or specific activities on any public blogs or message boards. What happens behind our closed doors, stays right here.